A Historically-Accurate (But Not Recommended) Way to Observe Columbus Day


Today is Columbus Day in the United States. While I do not recommend actually doing this, the following would be a historically-accurate way to observe this day.

  1. Break into the house where a family of your neighbors live.
  2. Announce to this family that you live there now.
  3. Kick the entire family outside, into the cold.
  4. If you notice them shivering, make them feel better by sharing your religious beliefs with them.
  5. If #4 does not work, use swords to put your former neighbors out of their misery.
  6. If step #5 seems a bit too excessive, use this option instead, based on the actions of those who followed Columbus:  “help” your shivering former neighbors keep warm . . . by throwing some smallpox-infested blankets to them.

Obviously, regarding Christopher Columbus:  I’m not a fan. I therefore call upon the United States Congress to remove Columbus Day from our list of official national holidays.

[Image credit:  see http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/10/opinion/perry-columbus-day-what-to-tell-your-kid/ — this is where I found the image above.]

About RobertLovesPi

I go by RobertLovesPi on-line, and am interested in many things, the majority of which are geometrical. Welcome to my little slice of the Internet. The viewpoints and opinions expressed on this website are my own. They should not be confused with the views of my employer, nor any other organization, nor institution, of any kind.
This entry was posted in History, Life, Politics, Religion and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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