So we’re watching the latest episode of Star Trek: Picard tonight, as we do every Thursday night, when Bandit the Kitten decides to tear a gash in my leg with his incredibly sharp claws.
I waited until the show was over before pouring rubbing alcohol on it, which, of course, stung quite sharply,
In that moment of stinging, I realized that there’s a song for this occasion. It’s by The Flaming Lips.
My favorite lines in this song, “The Gash,” form a question: “Will the fight for our sanity / Be the fight of our lives?” With this kitten here in our apartment, it just might be exactly that.
We just got a new kitten, named him Bandit, and I tried to get a picture of him to send to you. Bandit (unless he’s eating) sits still for no one, though, so he ran around and around my open laptop while I took some pictures . . . and, as you can see, he “typed” part of this letter to you on each orbit around my computer. Apparently he likes numbers and punctuation marks better than the written word.
Bandit the Kitten, prior to takeoff, with JPay in view behind him:
Bandit the Kitten, launching into orbit:
Bandit the Kitten, at top speed:
Bandit the Kitten, finally slowing down, with debris stirred up during his chaotic orbit in view behind him:
So, on to my idea for prison reform: kittens! I’ve heard stories for years about prison cats, who sneak in, find places to sleep (under buildings, preferably), and start doing what cats do best: eating mice, rats and other vermin. It’s true that, as the saying goes, “There’s no such thing as a free kitten,” but this killing and eating of vermin is how cats pay the “rent,” so to speak.
Where there are cats, of course, there will soon be kittens — and by the time they venture out to places where prisoners could get to them, they’re fast. Really fast. Can you imagine an inmate chasing a kitten or a cat? It wouldn’t end well for the running prisoner, especially if he ran into other prisoners who had decided to adopt the cat being chased.
Those prisoners who mistreat cats or kittens would probably end up falling victim to prison justice — of one kind or another. The lucky ones would end up getting in trouble with the [state DOC]. The unlucky ones would, well, be dealt with in other ways.
While I gave brief thought to trying to mail a pregnant cat to the prison you’re in, I have decided against doing that. I don’t know how to successfully get cats or kittens to you. Does the [prison you’re in] have a suggestion box?
I can’t tell yet if Mr. Big wants to help or hinder the process of packing, but he sure is in the middle of things. We’ll see when we finish packing, and then the sun goes down, and we head down to Mobile, Alabama (without cats), from central Arkansas. That will be a good place to crash before the second leg of the trip, to the Orlando area. We’re celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary (which was yesterday) with this trip.
We’re in a global pandemic, without competent national leadership, and American society is tearing itself apart. However, at least you get to see this cute picture my wife took of Hexagon the Cat hiding in a blanket, right?
I made this using Stella 4d: Polyhedron Navigator, a program you can try for free at this website. It shows Hexagon the Cat riding in circles on the twenty hexagonal faces of a rotating truncated icosahedron. We don’t know of a cat named Pentagon, so I hid the twelve pentagonal faces.
So I’m looking at Facebook, and all of a sudden Hexagon the Kitten is on the keyboard. Zap! Screenshot captured at feline speed — before I could grab the little rogue.
This is the first of four pages of information which Hexagon attempted to print this morning — a screenshot of the top of my Facebook timeline. She tricked me into losing the other three pages, which were simply more records of recent activity on Facebook.
She was also, as the image above shows, trying to print in black and white, which seemed interesting. I looked it up, and cats have far more rods than cones, compared to humans, so I guess Hexagon doesn’t see color as that important.
She also typed the following into the keyboard:
What is Hexagon’s goal with all of this computer activity? If I ever figure it out, I’ll post my findings here.
RobertLovesPi.net 