The Latest Episode (With Bandit the Kitten and The Flaming Lips)

So we’re watching the latest episode of Star Trek: Picard tonight, as we do every Thursday night, when Bandit the Kitten decides to tear a gash in my leg with his incredibly sharp claws.

I waited until the show was over before pouring rubbing alcohol on it, which, of course, stung quite sharply,

In that moment of stinging, I realized that there’s a song for this occasion. It’s by The Flaming Lips.

My favorite lines in this song, “The Gash,” form a question: “Will the fight for our sanity / Be the fight of our lives?” With this kitten here in our apartment, it just might be exactly that.

The Feline Prison Reform Proposal

Hi _____________,

I hope they get a working tablet to you soon. I have a proposal for prison reform that I’d like to bounce off of you: kittens.

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We just got a new kitten, named him Bandit, and I tried to get a picture of him to send to you. Bandit (unless he’s eating) sits still for no one, though, so he ran around and around my open laptop while I took some pictures . . . and, as you can see, he “typed” part of this letter to you on each orbit around my computer. Apparently he likes numbers and punctuation marks better than the written word.

I’ll try attaching the pictures now. [Time passes . . . .] Success!

Bandit the Kitten, prior to takeoff, with JPay in view behind him:

Bandit the Kitten, launching into orbit:

Bandit the Kitten, at top speed:

Bandit the Kitten, finally slowing down, with debris stirred up during his chaotic orbit in view behind him:

So, on to my idea for prison reform: kittens! I’ve heard stories for years about prison cats, who sneak in, find places to sleep (under buildings, preferably), and start doing what cats do best: eating mice, rats and other vermin. It’s true that, as the saying goes, “There’s no such thing as a free kitten,” but this killing and eating of vermin is how cats pay the “rent,” so to speak.

Where there are cats, of course, there will soon be kittens — and by the time they venture out to places where prisoners could get to them, they’re fast. Really fast. Can you imagine an inmate chasing a kitten or a cat? It wouldn’t end well for the running prisoner, especially if he ran into other prisoners who had decided to adopt the cat being chased.

Those prisoners who mistreat cats or kittens would probably end up falling victim to prison justice — of one kind or another. The lucky ones would end up getting in trouble with the [state DOC]. The unlucky ones would, well, be dealt with in other ways.

While I gave brief thought to trying to mail a pregnant cat to the prison you’re in, I have decided against doing that. I don’t know how to successfully get cats or kittens to you. Does the [prison you’re in] have a suggestion box?

Your friend,
Robert

P.S. When I blog this, I’ll omit your name.

Hexagon the Kitten Is Recording My Computer Activity

So I’m looking at Facebook, and all of a sudden Hexagon the Kitten is on the keyboard. Zap! Screenshot captured at feline speed — before I could grab the little rogue.

Hexagon's schreenshot

This is the first of four pages of information which Hexagon attempted to print this morning — a screenshot of the top of my Facebook timeline. She tricked me into losing the other three pages, which were simply more records of recent activity on Facebook.

She was also, as the image above shows, trying to print in black and white, which seemed interesting. I looked it up, and cats have far more rods than cones, compared to humans, so I guess Hexagon doesn’t see color as that important.

Hexagon kitten young

She also typed the following into the keyboard:

Hexagon's typing

What is Hexagon’s goal with all of this computer activity? If I ever figure it out, I’ll post my findings here.

The Misadventures of Jynx the Kitten, Chapter Four: Jynx “Helps” with Grading Papers, and Discovers a New Talent

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This is the last day of Spring Break, and grades for the third quarter are due tomorrow, so it should surprise no one that I’m grading papers. Things were going well, too, until Jynx the Kitten decided to “help.”

I told Jynx that I did not need his “help,” since I already know how to grade papers; I even told him that I very much needed not to have his “help.” Jynx did not care. Papers were there, and he was determined to grade them.

The only problem (for Jynx) was that, before Spring Break even began, I had sorted all the papers to be graded, folded each set separately, and fastened each bundle shut with a separate rubber band, simply to organize the papers to be graded. Some of us in education call this sorting-process “pre-grading,” or something like that. Jynx didn’t like it, though, for the rubber bands kept him from getting to the papers he so desperately wanted to grade (or eat, or shred, or something).

He could, of course, get to the rubber bands, for they were on the outside of each of the bundles of papers. He has claws to pluck them, and did so. He also started trying to pull off the rubber bands with his teeth. Each time a rubber band got plucked, by tooth or claw, twang! Different rubber bands on different bundles were stretched with varying tensions, producing rubber-band-twanging sounds of varying frequency. In other words: Jynx played different musical notes.

Soon, Jynx had forgotten all about grading papers, and was simply having fun playing music for the first time. He was delighted to be playing music . . . or frustrated that he couldn’t get the bundles open . . . or possibly both.

I had also forgotten all about grading papers, and simply sat, listening in amazement, for I’ve had cats all my life, and, aside from the familiar “cat on a piano” song many people have heard, I have never before heard a cat, nor a kitten, attempt to play music.

Jynx’s improvisational rubber-band piece started to improve rapidly with practice, and soon Jynx’s music was much better than even the best-rendered version of “cat on a piano” I have ever heard before — and he’s still a kitten!

Unfortunately, I was not able to open software to record Jynx’s music in time, before he moved on to other things, as kittens do fairly often. As a result, only my wife and I know what Jynx’s music actually sounds like. I did manage to snap the picture above, of him looking up at me from his “musical instruments,” before he moved on to the next of his hijinks for the day, of which there are always many.

And, now that Jynx has decided it’s nap time, I’ll get back to grading these papers.

The Rules of Cats

the rules of cats

Jynx the Kitten may not be fully grown yet, but he certainly knows these rules.

All cats (and kittens) know these rules, and efforts, by anyone, to get cats (or kittens) to break them are futile.

(Photo credit: my wife took this picture, after Jynx decided she needed to take a break from crotcheting. When Jynx tries to floss his teeth with the yarn, that’s always disruptive.)

My First Solution to the Zome Cryptocube Puzzle, with Special Guest Appearances by Jynx the Kitten

Last month, in a special Christmas promotion, the Zometool company (www.zometool.com) briefly sold a new kit (which will return later) — a fascinating game, or puzzle, called the “Cryptocube.” Zome usually comes in a variety of colors, with each color having mathematical significance, but the Cryptocube is produced in black and white, which actually (in my opinion) makes it a better puzzle. Here’s how the Crypocube challenge works:  you use the black parts to make a simple cube, and then use the smaller white parts to invent a structure which incorporates the cube, is symmetrical, is attractive, and can survive having the twelve black cube-edges removed, leaving only the cube’s eight black vertices in place. I had a lot of fun making my first Cryptocube, and photographed it from several angles.

imageIf this was built using standard Zome colors, the round white figure inside the cube, a rhombic triacontahedron, would be red, and the pieces outside the cube, as well as those joining the rhombic triacontahedron to the cube (from inside the cube), would be yellow.

It isn’t only humans who like Zome, by the way. Jynx the Kitten had to get in on this!

image (1)

Jynx quickly became distracted from the Cryptocube by another puzzle, though: he wanted to figure out how to pull down the red sheet I had attached to the wall, as a photographic backdrop for the Cryptocube. Jynx takes his feline duties as an agent of entropy quite seriously.

image (2)As usually happens, Jynx won (in his never-ending struggle to interfere with whatever I’m doing, in this case by pulling the sheet down) and it took me quite a while to get the red sheet back up, in order to take kitten-free pictures of my Cryptocube solution, after removal of the black cube’s edges.

image (3)

Here’s the view from another angle.

image (4)

The Cryptocube will be back, available on the Zometool website, later in 2015. In the meantime, I have advice for anyone not yet familiar with Zome, but who wants to try the Cryptocube when it returns: go ahead and get some Zome now, at the link above, in the standard colors (red, blue, and yellow, plus green in advanced kits), and have fun building things with it over the next few months. The reason to do this, before attempting to solve the Crypocube, is simple: the colors help you learn how the Zome system works, which is important before trying to solve a Zome puzzle without these colors visible. After gaining some familiarity with the differing shapes of the red, blue, yellow, and green pieces, working with them in white becomes much easier.

On a related note, Zome was recommended by Time magazine, using the words “Zometool will make your kids smarter,” as one of the 14 best toys of 2013. I give Zome my own strong, personal recommendation as well, and, as a teacher who uses my own Zome collection in class, for instructional purposes, I can attest that Time‘s 2013 statement about Zome is absolutely correct. Zome is definitely a winner!

Thirteen Images, Each, of Jynx, the Black Kitten, on Two Hendecagonal Prisms

11- Prism

The above hendecagonal prism shows what Jynx is like when he’s in “kyperkitten” mode. (If you have a kitten, you know what that means.) It’s also rotating rapidly in an effort to make those who fear black cats, and/or the number thirteen, feel even more jumpy, in the hope that Jynx and I can, by working together, startle them into rationality.

On the other hand, Jynx does sometimes like to just lounge around, and watch the world go by — so I’ll show him in “tiredcat” mode as well.

11- Prism

Software credit:  I used Stella 4d: Polyhedron Navigator to make these images, a program which is available at this website.

The Misadventures of Jynx the Kitten, Chapter Three: Jynx Tries To Help Wash the Dishes

The thing is, kittens really aren’t very good at housework — but at least he’s trying, right?

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Of course, he might have been wanting a shower instead. It’s hard to tell what Jynx is thinking sometimes.

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This did cause a delay in the dishes getting done, for we were laughing too hard to load any dishes for quite some time, even after these pictures were taken.

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No kittens were harmed in the making of this blog-post . . . but I will admit that the temptation to close the dishwasher, and then start it, did exist. However, we unanimously decided against it.