An Easy Way to Find a Better President

nine dice

  1. Obtain nine ten-sided dice, as seen above.
  2. Use them, one at a time, to generate nine random digits, in order.
  3. Check to see if a living person has that Social Security Number.
  4. If so, check to see if the person is eligible, under the Constitution, for the office of president.
  5. If they are, inaugurate them at once, before they have time to get away.
  6. If no president has yet been selected, return to step 2.

The chances of getting anything worse than what we’ve got now are essentially zero.

2017: The Year of Trump Dysphoria Disorder

Trump

“Dysphoria” is the antonym of “euphoria.” Exposure to facts increases your risk of developing Trump Dysphoria Disorder, or TDD. To avoid the pain and suffering associated with TDD, you may wish to avoid any media outlets which are not Fox News.